For this critical play I played depression quest, a text-based story game by zoe quinn. I had previously heard of this game due to controversies that arose due to GamerGate, and I was interested to see what exactly got people so riled up. depression quest breaks the prevailing form of video games, delivering a simple but powerful message as to how it is to live with depression.
At first, I wasn’t entirely sure what it mean to ‘play as a feminist.’ I assumed that it had to involve the analysis of women in the story, in which depression quest had two prominent women in the story: the main character’s mother and their partner Alex. However, as I continued through the game, I realized that there was more to playing as a feminist than that narrow-minded view. Shira Chess put it best when explaining why feminists should care about video games:
‘Video games, as a format and medium, are in need of a platform-expanding, metaphysical explosion. There are ruts and assumptions that have, for so long, ruled how things are done. By appealing to a singular audience (or a few, core audiences), we are missing opportunities for innovation, creativity, and dramatic overhauls of how we think about games and play.’
Playing as a feminist means more than just analyzing women characters: it involves games that tell a story, make the player feel, and deal with topics rarely touched upon by games. In essence, it means noting all aspects of a game that break away from stereotypical ‘gun and ball’ games’ that have been predominantly tailored for a male audience. Certainly, depression quest fits into this theory that Chess mentions: it tells a story meant to bring to light the experience of depression. From its game page, depression quest sets itself apart from typical games at its time.
The webpage is devoid of much color and immediately warns that it is ‘not meant to be a fun or lighthearted experience.’ The game’s intent is also clearly stated: ‘we want to illustrate what depression is like.’ depression quest’s goal to share the experience of depression with others is fundamentally a feminist ideal: it instills empathy in its players who otherwise may have not understood what it is like to suffer from this condition.
depression quest makes the player feel through its gameplay, putting them in the shoes of a protagonist struggling with depression and making the player make decisions for them. In this way, it feels like a choose-your-own-adventure, but these choices are often already predetermined by the developers.
From the very first choice, players are already restricted in their options, with some being crossed out in red. As the protagonist falls into a deeper depression, even more options are restricted, until there is often only one choice to make.
In this way, the game clearly shows the experience of living with depression. There are many choices that seem ‘correct,’ but most times they cannot be picked: the main character physically cannot act on these choices even if they know of their existence. The player is shown the struggle with depression: increased fatigue, anxiety, and tiredness, all of which contributes to a downward spiral that becomes difficult to escape.
depression quest deviates from typical video games in that it doesn’t have a clear ‘good’ ending. While it is possible to achieve a ‘happier’ ending, the game reiterates for any ending that ‘like depression, depression quest does not have an end.’ The protagonist may end in different mental states at the end of the game, but what doesn’t change is the fact they still have depression. This is most clearly seen in the static present throughout the game. The static over images becomes more prominent the more depressed the protagonist becomes, but it doesn’t fully go away in ‘happier’ endings.
‘Good ending’ vs. ‘bad ending’ final photographs
Through the static and the end-game message, depression quest asserts itself as a game not to be ‘beaten,’ but rather to be experienced: regardless of the ending, the player is shown what it means to live with depression and understand how it affects those who have it. And despite receiving help, it always lingers in the background, just as the faint static remains over the game’s images.
I believe depression quest successfully intertwines feminist ideals to deliver an experience to teach more about depression. Aside from instilling empathy in players for those with depression, depression quest also dismantles negative stigma society has placed on those with depression, giving them a voice of their experience. Society has generally misunderstood those with depression: often they are just told to ‘not be depressed, just be happy, etc….’ depression quest has many of these types of options listed, but are almost never pickable: for example, when the protagonist’s partner asks if everything’s ok, the option ‘open up to her with ease’ is listed, but not pickable. While the seemingly obvious answer, depression quest shows us that it is easier said than done by making the option listed but not chooseable. By keeping these options crossed out, depression quest shows the player what makes life with depression so difficult, which in turn makes us reconsider our view on these people, helping us empathize with them and understand their struggle.
Depression quest is part of a genre that I haven’t played much in the past, but I was very pleased with the experience. It has successfully delivered a powerful narrative about the nature of depression, and I feel as though I’ve become more aware about depression as a whole.
