After I revised the prototype based on the advice I got in the first playtest, I did one external playtest with one player Yifan, who never played interactive fiction games before. And his feedback is below:
👍 What’s Working
- Great writing — The prose is beautiful and natural. Especially the chapter in the cornfield(the one that I polished the most).
- A complete story — The story feels well-rounded.
- Fun mini-games — Lots of cool ideas with potential, though most aren’t implemented yet.
- inner voice system works — The protagonist’s inner inner voices fight each other and can provide contexts for players.
- Easy to get immersed in — The writing feels real and pulls you in.
🔧 What to Improve
- Make choices harder — Most choices feel too obvious. The player said, “This isn’t a real choice for me.” Each option should come with a meaningful trade-off.
- Add more branching — More choices should have a real impact on how the story unfolds.
- Build the setting more — The poverty context needs more detail early on to help the player better understand and connect with the protagonist’s situation.
- Resolve the bullying storyline — Bullying comes up in Chapter 1 but never gets addressed again. Give it some follow-up or closure.
- Additional Feedback — The player also gave plenty of feedback on specific plot points and dialogue wording, which I won’t go into detail on here.
