I first want to state here that I had this entire entry completely written (worded very well, too), when I lost it all after the page decided to refresh as I went to add a featured image. Here’s V2
At last Monday’s game night, a classmate and I played the “getting to know one another” party game of “We’re Not Really Strangers” (by Koreen Odiney). This is not your typical icebreaker by any stretch of the imagination as it pushes the norms of introductory social interactions to the very brink. For example, the very first thing the game has you do is stare directly into the eyes of the player opposite you. This is not normal. This also requires a certain amount of maturity, meaning this game is not aimed for children. This type of eye contact is usually reserved for members in a loving relationship or when speaking to someone with your deep respect. It is unorthodox, an even possibly a bit rude for two near-total strangers to engage in this behavior. However, this interaction (which determines who goes first by whomever looks away soonest) only sets the tone for the rest of the experience playing this game.
The actual ‘meat’ of the game is centered around 3 rounds of questions, the first being perception questions. One example of this would be something along the lines of “If I were to drive through a fast food chain, where do you think I would go and what would be my order?” This being the first questions asked, and possibly even being the first interaction between the players, throws a lot of introductory norms out the window, such as “where do you live” or “What hobbies do you have”. Instead this game leaves it to your deduction to notice a person’s outfit, their accents, or their personal athletic/dietary inclinations to determine by your own estimates were they think they would eat. The game assumes you will be wrong in your assumptions.
In the second round of questions, the theme shifts from perception to connection. For example, “What’s one thing about yourself you wouldn’t change.” (or something; I had the direct quote before I deleted it all – my apologies, this is very frustrating) This round of questions is again, strange, as it is deemed rude in normal circumstances to talk about yourself in such prideful ways and for such a long period of time when getting to know people you just met. However, in the context of the game, this round provides players with a opportunity to correct any false perceptions in the previous round. For example, another player thought I would order a cheeseburger meal from Wendy’s, and I was able to say I wouldn’t change the fact that I am vegetarian- and thus would prefer to go to Taco Bell for a Crunch Wrap (black bean) than Wendy’s.
The final round of questions move on into a somewhat personal direction- questions that one is hesitant to answer with even their best friends like “What aspect of yourself do you see in me”. This is not a question one asks someone they ultimately just met that day. However, in playing the first two rounds of the game, the player’s have learned a lot of practically useless information about on another, and by providing the opportunity to connect these random tidbits to their own personal experiences, players are able to actually retain, and truly get to know the non-strangers around the table.
This game fostered discussions deep enough to actually get to know a person, not just the superficial statistics about their daily life. It forces everyone around the table, even those who wouldn’t normally be intching of introducing themselves, to become an active part in getting to know one another.
That being said, I still didn’t know where he was from.
-Noah Leibert
