Playtester:
Female masters student with no particular experience in game design or in playing narrative-based games. I conducted the playtest with her by first having her read through the complete narrative script, then interact with the playable prototype containing 3-4 scenes built in Twine to start off (given the narrative-based nature of my game, I spent the majority of the week/end focusing on writing and fleshing out the architecture of the game).
Key Feedback
What worked
- Playtester responded positively to the core premise, finding the parallel storytelling structure—weaving together two outsiders from different worlds—unique and engaging. She liked the dual-world concept and was emotionally invested in the story.
- Interestingly, the playtester connected more deeply with Piko’s storyline than Annie’s. She found his journey from refugee to potential leader more emotionally compelling and suggested he should be the playable protagonist rather than Annie, which challenges my initial design assumption that players would naturally connect with the human character.
- Overall story flow and pacing was good, the playtester felt the narrative progressed logically and maintained momentum.
What needs work
- Big concern around believability of story: the current prototype unfolds over just three days, which the playtester felt was insufficient time for the depth of friendship and personal transformation depicted. So might need to reconsider how accelerated the timeline should be.
- The play tester thought that while Piko’s narrative felt fresh, Annie’s scenes was too “stereotypical and predictable.” The bullied-kid-learns-confidence arc was not really engaging
- The playtester pointed to the underdeveloped father arcs, and thought that a deeper exploration of both father-child dynamics would be nice. Specifically, she wanted to see:
- Annie and Gordon’s relationship expanded with more scenes showing the nuances of their disconnect, small moments of failed connection, and then the gradual reconciliation
- Contrasting father experiences: More explicit parallels and contrasts between Annie’s complicated relationship with her living-but-absent father versus Piko’s grief over his deceased father and what that loss means for his identity
Next Steps
- Extending the timeline to 2-3 weeks or even a month, to allow friendship build more organically
- Reimagining Annie’s arc with less predictable complications—perhaps internal conflicts beyond bullying, or unexpected strengths she discovers
- Consider switching which character the player takes on while player (right now, play tester prefers Piko > Annie)
- Creating a “father arc” exploring Gordon’s perspective, Annie’s attempts to connect, and Piko processing his loss
