Before this class, I felt that I knew very little about games. The little I that I did know, was quite negative. My brother often got in trouble for spending so much of his time playing Halo, Call of Duty, and Rock Band, so if anything, I saw them as distractions. To me, games always seemed like something I could only resort to if I finished all of the “important” tasks first. I saw my life as very separate from games.
Fast forward to this quarter, in which taking this class totally redefined what I see as a game. Life requires play, and it demands fun, and it incorporates storytelling, all of which are present in games.
Every lecture taught me something new, but a few of my biggest takeaways are affiliated with the What Games Are & Aren’t assignment and when we assessed the level of vulnerability within games. With games, learning is the drug. Playing games is on the same order as learning how to drive a car, play the mandolin, and multiply 7 by 7. Because I saw games in such a negative light for so long, seeing games characterized as learning opportunities was so refreshing. Learning to see games not as something to distinguish from life itself, but rather as something that can enhance the quality of my life, was also very refreshing to think about. I’ve seen how much I can learn about myself, the tech industry, and society at large from playing games. I’m an incredibly meticulous person, which can sometimes be disadvantageous because I need to be reminded to step back and tackle a problem from a different angle; games allowed me to exercise this practice more often in my own life, as winning a game often requires looking at a problem from more than one angle. I knew how bad the ratio of female-identifying individuals to male-identifying individuals was within the tech industry, but learned from this class how prevalent this is specifically within the gaming industry, and exacerbated by events such as GamerGate and the invalidation that may arise from women being told that their games aren’t “real games.” I’ve learned how environments and worlds and dimensions within games can reflect and criticize the socioeconomic and cultural landscape of our society. I admire how games can communicate such a powerful message and urge individuals to think more critically about the initiatives they support. It isn’t about the game’s conclusion, but rather the journey that players take, which solidifies these powerful messages.
On top of this, much like some of my favorite films, I felt as though I could play many games and learn something new from each play, because I’d notice something different. After playing a game, pinpointing which mechanics, dynamics, and aesthetics contributed to the replayability of a game was eye-opening, since I had inspiration to draw from when working on creative projects of my own. Moreover, I never thought I’d have to analyze how vulnerable I’d get when playing a game, because for so long, games seemed to only accomplish one thing: having fun. I thought that when I played games, I could disassociate from the world and I wouldn’t have to worry about sharing my personal experiences. I didn’t have to think too hard. And while there are certainly some games that serve as a way to simply pass the time, there are also a surprising number of games that demand vulnerability and honesty (e.g. We’re Not Really Strangers, Florence). Seeing how vulnerable my team members and I got when going through the ideation, prototyping, and iterative process of our own games helped me realize something: game designers get vulnerable all the time. A lot of heart and soul go into their projects, and to share that with a world that often seems overly critical can be absolutely terrifying. In addition, when we play games, we share a little part of ourselves as well—some games, more than others—but regardless, we do. We share a part of our humor, family, friends, hopes, and worries. With each game, we have the opportunity to be vulnerable.
I had so much room to be creative, and so much room to mess up and learn from my mistakes. For the first game, I got to practice designing and executing graphics on Figma and learned what goes into a thoughtful presentation of real-life materials. As a result of producing a social / party game, my team and I got to see our friends physically interact with our ideas, which was incredibly rewarding and motivating. Receiving feedback from the teaching staff was one of the most helpful parts of creating a better game for me, since their feedback was often straightforward and aspects I hadn’t considered before. For the second game, I learned about how Godot works, which definitely demystified game engines and motivated me to keep using them in the future. Though I’m by no means an expert at Godot, it gave me an inside look into how games that I love come into fruition. Being able to brainstorm how our levels should look, how difficult our puzzles should be, and what kind of artwork I wanted to contribute, allowed me to wear many different hats. I had never considered pursuing game design in a professional setting before this class, but now hope to pursue something related to it in the future. Even if that doesn’t work out, so many of the skills are transferable to other areas—I loved being able to tell a story through graphics, narration, and play.
Perhaps the most challenging part of the class, but also what I grew the most from, is working on a team for several weeks. I’ve worked with team members in several of my classes before, but I feel as though game design requires a special type of vulnerability. Neither of the games I worked on would have been what they are without the effort, energy, and vulnerability of each of my team members, and I feel so proud that we were able to tackle problems as a team. Because we had limited time for each of our games, compromising ideas or design choices was difficult but necessary. I believe that because both of our projects were creative projects, being able to communicate my own vision for the game, but also take into consideration and incorporate the visions of the rest of the team, was essential for the success of our games. Each stage of the game design process required the input and feedback from others, which can be frustrating for someone like myself, who is, in general, very independent and picky. I learned a lot about how to prioritize our strongest ideas, how to respectfully offer constructive criticism, and build off of one another’s ideas instead of replacing them.
I want to keep working on our digital game, Daikon Kid Goes Home. In the future, I’d definitely want to take quality time to expand on some of the puzzles we already created and make them more difficult such that we can implement clever hints throughout it. I’d also playtest with a variety of audiences, including my brother : )
I am walking away from this class so grateful to Christina, Krishnan, Amy, Ale, Gilbert, Shana, Nina <3 and my teammates, for reminding me that play is important. Here’s to more play, more magic, & more games. 🃏🎮🎲
