I played We’re Not Really Strangers by Koreen Odiney. The game is based around getting to know the other player through three levels of questioning. The first round is based on assumptions, the second based on questions, and the third on reflections. The game is clearly targeted towards slightly older audiences or adults, not only because there exists a separate version for children but because the questions are clearly geared towards people with some life experience – “Have you had your heart broken?” is likely less relevant to a 12 year old than it is to an adult. The goal of the game is strengthening ties between the players by revealing personal information to one another, which is an interesting premise.
In my experience, I found the game to have a high barrier of entry to the fun – the intense level of vulnerability required can make it difficult to actually achieve the goal of the game, rendering it a somewhat artificial way to get to know someone better. However, if players can clear the bar of vulnerability, the game is an enjoyable and revealing experience. I played this game with a close friend of mine, and one thing I noticed was how difficult it was for both of us to answer the questions genuinely and honestly. I think we were caught off guard by the level of vulnerability required, even in the first round, and since the nature of our friendship did not revolve around discussing those things it made it somewhat difficult to move through the first few questions. This made me think about how this may ring true for other players – if you are not prepared for the amount of personal feelings or information you need to share to play, the game is not as fun nor does it achieve the goal of strengthening connection. The game works with the ideas of fellowship, discovery, and expression, but if you do not express, there is nothing to discover, and the fellowship falls apart. In other words, the fun of the game is directly connected to how expressive and vulnerable you are willing to be, and that is much easier said than done.
After getting into the mindset, it became a bit easier to play, and the question-asking mechanic is a useful tool for providing specific information about each other. The “Dig Deeper” card was somewhat a source of anxiety at the table, as my friend noted she was afraid I would use it on her when she didn’t want to say more. Though this may reflect on my friend’s personal preferences and personality more than the game itself, it is worth recognizing that some players may not enjoy the forced request to share more than they are comfortable with. A mechanic that allows for a player to reject a Dig Deeper Card as more of a formal rule would be useful to making gameplay more universally comfortable.
Overall, this game is an interesting method of getting to know someone better – from a game design perspective, the type of fun it offers is absolutely achievable, as long as all the players are ready and willing to commit to the vulnerability required. It is more soul-bearing than other get-to-know you games like truth or dare or hot seat, for better or for worse. If people are truly ready to get vulnerable, then it is a fantastic getting to know you game – but if they aren’t, it is a somewhat awkward and artificial-feeling play experience.
