Final Class Reflection — Kristine

Before this class, what came to my mind first when someone mentioned the word “game” was an action-packed FPS with a player base of mostly men. Something like Valorant, or Call of Duty. Of course, I also knew of other popular games, such as Genshin Impact— two of my friends were obsessed with it in high school. With the same friends, we even had a stint with Mystic Messenger, an otome game that was somewhat popular at the time. I had gotten dragged into League of Legends by other friends around the start of high school, as well. There were other, simpler games I’ve played before, even before then, such as Minecraft or Fruit Ninja. With knowledge of a thin spread of such different games, I thought I had hit the bottom of the well, and that I had enough familiarity and experience to know the boundaries of what it is for something to be a “game.” Despite this, when entering the class, I was simultaneously insecure about my lack of gaming knowledge. With my little experience and limited knowledge, I was assuredly not a “gamer.” There were so many niche yet interesting games that I had definitely never heard of before, and, surely, there were plenty of games that were regarded as a staple in the gaming world that I had no knowledge of, either.

I quickly realized that I was both wrong and right. I was naive in thinking that the different genres of games that I knew of or played before were different enough to mark the edges of what a “game” is. I had no idea of what I didn’t know; even though Mystic Messenger and League were drastically different games, there were so many other forms and genres that exist, and now, looking back, I also think that there might be so many more genres and forms that could be created or defined in the future. I was, of course, right in that there were many games that I had no knowledge of, ones that are excellently crafted but I had never heard of, as well as ones that were staples in the gaming community. Despite being right about this, I realized that I did not need to feel so insecure. With its playtests, readings, and examples in lecture and section, the class slowly eased me into exploring new games. Rather than feeling insecure, I began to feel increasingly curious about existing games as well as potential ideas for new games.

In particular, the week on walking simulators made me fully realize the difficulty in defining the objective or shape of games; they vary so greatly. Although I did not playtest Edith Finch, I realized that this was a game that was perhaps essential to discussions in the gaming community, with how many times it came up in other readings and lectures (and made a mental note to play it in the future, when it might be available to me.) Even so, with my playtest on Yume Nikki, perhaps a less popular game, my eyes were opened in several different ways. Firstly, games were not action-packed, nor designed clearly with a male audience in mind. Secondly, games could comment on crucial topics, such as mental health. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly to me, along with the reading on Narrative Architecture, Yume Nikki made me realize that games could have an embedded narrative structure.

As a a current Creative Writing minor, and former prospective double major in English, narratives and stories are something that matter greatly to me. The games I had played in the past weren’t very narrative heavy; instead, much of their dynamics and aesthetics came from their mechanics. In middle school, I was a more-than-avid reader, and back then, I had regarded video games as the enemies of stories. However, realized, through this class, that I was completely wrong. Although books and video games, sure, were different forms of media, when games wanted to pursue the aesthetic of narrative, their objectives aligned; they were one and the same.

I realized I loved games with embedded narratives and built-in stories, and was fortunate to have chosen so many with embedded narratives for my playtests after Yume Nikki, such as Homebody, Cube Escape: Paradox, or even A Dark Room. Even when I couldn’t finish a game, I would become so attached to the worlds and so consumed by the stories, that I would stay up reading Wikis, theories, and watching multiple playthroughs, something that I had never really done for other classes.

As a result, despite our game not having a focus on narrative— a sacrifice made for other elements and dynamics— I also tried to implement some elements of embedded narrative in our P2 game, Whisk(ers), in which the player plays as Mochi, a cat who is taking over their parents’ bakery.

The mechanics of our P2 game were also heavily inspired by Cube Escape: Paradox, which I had playtested. Playing Cube Escape: Paradox was my first time playing an escape room–like game. I love escape rooms in real life, but didn’t realize that they could also be digitized. In fact, I didn’t realize that escape rooms in the real world could be considered games, either. I also realized, when coming up with ideas for our game, that playtests were valuable, and (although, perhaps it seems like stating the obvious, now) that existing games were great resources for game designers.

Beyond narrative, I also loved learning about game ethics and considerations, particularly the feminist playtest. It might be true that many gaming communities (like League of Legends’) is still misogynistic, and I was shocked to learn about “Gamergate,” something I had never heard about before. Although I had known about DDLC as a game before, I benefitted greatly from looking at DDLC from a feminist perspective, and continued to realize how games can also be intentional political commentaries.

I realized that perhaps while I am still not experienced enough in games to call myself a “gamer,” I do really love games, both playing, reflecting on, and creating them. After a certain bad experience with a game, I distanced myself from games for a bit, and never thought I would want to be so heavily involved with games again. However, not only did I learn so much from this class, but I think I want to continue exploring game design in the future, particularly how game designers can continue creating both games and their resulting communities with female players in mind, but also further exploring narratives in both existing games as well as from the perspective of a designer.