I was really worried about taking this class. I have been playing at least an hour of games everyday for year, I am almost at level 4000 in Candy Crush and I cycle through games every few months like clockwork. Every weekend me and my friends play dozens of heated rounds of 7 wonders and Ticket to Ride. But I never played COD, all I know about CSGO is the horrific voicechat and how many slurs everyone uses. I don’t have any interest in shooting, or killing, or games for boys, or scary games for that matter. I took this glass because I would love to design games, I even have a few ideas for games that I think would be very fun and I hope that I get to realize at some point. Point is, I never felt like a gamer.
Throughout the class, week after week I would tell my friends, a group of gossiping (in a good way) mid-20s women, about the concepts I learned in this class that I found interesting. I first brought to them the magic circle, then I talked about the types of gamers, we’re definitely all socializers, except for when we are under the influence, in which I get very aggressive and Victoria only wants to explore, not win. I had them playtest all the iterations of games I made. I think what conversation stuck with me most is when we talked about who qualifies as gamers. We have been spending 10 hours a week playing games for years now, yet Stephanie was adamant that she isn’t a gamer. Her brother plays fortnite, and our other friend Cam plays DnD, but all she does is devote money (including an online subscription) and dozens of hours of time into games. Even before this class I thought that only teenage boys being gamers was bullshit, my mom plays more games than my dad, but because she play Candy Crush every day and he plays Star Craft once a year, then he’s somehow more of a gamer? Bullshit. But I never really felt empowered in that opinion. There were some traces of the 2010’s pick me energy that I harbored in regards to games. I did once beat the Ender Dragon in Minecraft, so that should make a real gamer, right? It was a pleasure to gain confidence in my knowledge of games, but more importantly, my understanding of what play is, and who players are. Stephanie is now happily a gamer and even bought Unpacking to give it a try.
On a more serious note, this quarter was pretty difficult on a personal level. In week 1, one of my friends from high school suddenly passed away. More than ever I appreciated the escapism that thinking and talking and playing games afforded me. It also reminded me of how important it is that games provide a space to escape to. After the lecture on narratives, I started thinking about what kind of game I would like to make in an ideal world. I think I have a solid idea about unloading groceries into different fridges (very inspired by unpacking) and the narrative that emerges from that. I would love to actually start working on that game within the next year.
One critique I would voice about the class was the ordering of things. I really think that the feminist critical play should be one of the first ones. I think if the class’s stance is that “of course it’s a game”, then it should be made clear from the beginning. I think it’s better to make a sexist COD lobby student feel alienated early on because he doesn’t wanna play Stardew Valley, then it is to make a girl like Stephanie feel alienated because she’s not a real gamer. I didn’t personally feel this issue too much, mostly because I sat at tables with other women I knew, so I was not the only one that’s not a “typical” gamer, but there was a pretty clear divide in the early weeks. I also think that groups should be fully randomized. I’m sure if I came in with a best friend I might have felt differently, and maybe it works great when it’s 2 pairs of best friends, but it was difficult being the odd one out, especially in such small teams.
For a funnier note that I have been reminded of again and again whilst taking this class, and a testament to how much people care about games. When I was about 11, my dad very legally downloaded Mario Kart Wii, me and my 2 sisters played it continuously for months. We were so close to unlocking all the characters, we just needed Rosalina. And we all desperately wanted Rosalina, especially since it later came to be that we are all queer. We worked day and night one summer break, until one day we yelled at each a lot more than usual (and I think someone hit someone, idk it was a long time ago). My dad deleted Mario Kart from our Wii, and even though he has done much much much worse things before and especially since then, we still hold a grunge. We now, as adults, each own a Nintendo Wii, and I believe our original one now belongs to our 5 year old baby sister. I know neither of them probably see themselves as gamers, even though they have made our dad cry many times during Taboo and Risk, but I hope they do now. (I will send them this)
