Before this class, I doubted whether I was truly interested in games because I had a very different understanding of games compared to my friends. Most of my gamer friends enjoy games with heavy mechanics, such as first-person shooters. However, I was always more interested in the stories. After taking the class, I realized there is no single form of a game. There can be many different types of players and different types of games.
I enjoyed doing the critical plays a lot, especially starting from the second half of the quarter, where we focused a lot more on narrative. Those critical plays, especially the feminist one, impacted my game design for P2 tremendously. Edith Finch, Gorogoa, and Florence took me through unforgettable emotional journeys as I played them. Edith Finch and Florence, in particular, inspired me to view game narratives from a more feminist perspective and influenced my plot writing for P2. Our game Echo’s narrative is about a young female journalist murdered by her ex-boyfriend and male colleague discovering the truths behind her death. It was only when I read Shira Chess’s work that I realized how little agency I had left for the main character. She has always been passive throughout the game, suffering from social pressure, mental health issues, and abuse from her ex-boyfriend. As a ghost, player would solve many puzzles to uncover the truths about her death. But even if the player succeeds, the protagonist is dead from the very beginning of the narrative, and there is no way for the player to change that. The reading relevant to feminist gameplay inspired me to create some changes. To give the player more agency, in the ending narrative, I provided options where the player can choose between a “sense of relief” or a “feeling of hatred” to reconcile the lingering problems that the protagonist had. With relief, the player would witness the protagonist’s “long-missing” parents attend her funeral and finally realize how much they actually cared about her, resolving the protagonist’s family issue. For “hatred,” the player can feel the pleasure of revenge as they hunt down both male murderers as a powerful ghost (exciting!). Finally, regardless of what they choose, they see an ending where the protagonist is remembered as a hero journalist and investigator, with all her hard work and suffering being celebrated.
I genuinely appreciate the opportunity this class gave me to explore so many wonderful games and learn so much through even just the sketchnotes. I think it’s a great way for me to organize ideas from the papers I read, and I seriously need to keep this habit in my other classes. I especially appreciate the “extra challenge” on styles of sketchnotes. I think that led to great improvement in my sketchnote abilities.
The main challenge I experienced in this class was the discrepancy between the vision and reality in projects. I often wanted to achieve so much in a project, which became unfeasible in the end. But luckily, I had two really good teamwork experiences in both P1 and P2. We constantly met and discussed our progress, and we were able to communicate our visions with each other, collaborate wisely, and manage our time effectively.
I definitely grew as a game designer and observer. I can skillfully apply frameworks such as MDA and the eight types of fun to analyze any new game I encounter. I grew as an artist too! I was always interested in art but never had a formal training opportunity. In both P1 and P2, I had the chance to do figure drawings and improve my character design skills. I didn’t expect an opportunity like this, and it was very fun.
some characters I drew for P1 and P2
I would like to conclude with some wishes: I wish the feminist critical play could be placed earlier in the course so I could rethink my game narrative from a gender perspective. The concepts Chess discussed were very impactful to me, but as we were at the end of the project, there was very little I could change other than remake the game ending. I also wish we could cover Music Games and games with heavy cultural references / Games in cultural contexts. I am a big fan of many music games and I think a lot of them do a great job of incorporating challenge, sensation, and narrative. (I love Cytus II so much.) We discussed Japanese love simulator games, but I wish we could dive deeper into how cultural backgrounds shape character depictions.
